I’ve been toying with the idea of speaking, writing and/sharing my infertility journey for some time now. This post below is actually the only time I’ve shared about it and it was on a Facebook post. Sometimes I get carried away and whether good or bad, I just start typing and before you know it, it’s published for the world. So, just in case this is actually about to become a thing, I thought it was important to share here, the snippet of my journey.
I decided to write this post today in-spite of my normal desire to let private matters remain private in hopes that it will enlighten some and encourage others. Six weeks ago I had an abdominal myomectomy to remove 16 fibroids from in and around my uterus. They weighed about 9lbs and my uterus was measuring the same as a woman who was 5 mths pregnant.
I had to have a c section cut due to the size of my fibroids. I initially asked my mom, hubby and my friends to keep it hush- because it’s just one of those things we don’t really talk about and I really don’t like people to make a big fuss over me. Also, because it’s a super sensitive subject, if I’m honest. Of course I want a baby!
Yes, I know the clock is ticking, yes I know God is in control. However, I have so many conversations with all kind of women about some of the trials that come along with being a woman and a especially a woman who wants children. We talk about how it feels when someone asks you why you don’t have kids yet? Do you divulge your entire medical history or do you give a false answer of not wanting kids because it’s easy to end a conversation that way.
How you walk away feeling a little down because you’ve been reminded of your situation. Do you share your real feelings of desperation to have a baby and tell them all of the things you’ve heard will make you pregnant that you are trying or do you just simply respond, it’s all up to God to save face from feeling like less than a woman every time someone reminds you that you have yet to do that ONE thing that you are suppose to be able to do. And then to know that even after various procedures, recipes for success & many prayers, you still might not conceive.
So, I guess I’m saying this all to say please be mindful of randomly asking women of any age or women who have been married for so long if and when they plan to have kids. It’s not as easy for everyone to just pop a baby out and some people are really suffering with the lack of. So many women have had miscarriages and some have even been told they will never conceive. Can you imagine? And then someone you kinda know, but don’t really know, pops up and asks you what you are waiting on to have a baby!!!! It is insane! Now that you all have been warned about me specifically, if you ask me about children, I’m sending you a pic of my fibroids! Ummmkkk. ☺️
No seriously, before you decide to ask any woman a question about something so personal, please remember this post and just say a prayer that they are somehow finding peace with whatever stage of their process they are in. Also let me interject not every single woman is sad or upset at this thought, but most that I have come in contact with are. Thanks for reading peeps and as always, have a blessed day💖
NOW THIS IS THE SCARY PART! IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE THESE FIBROID, LOOK AWAY IMMEDIATELY! THEY ARE ONLY A FEW CLICKS AWAY SO IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE, I ADVISE YOU TO RUN!
STOP READING IF YOU WILL BE GROSSED OUT!
I’M TELLING YOU!!!!!
THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!!!!!!!!!
I TRIED TO TELL YOU!
Ok, here they are! Be prepared to gasp in awe and the urge to screenshot so you can show someone, ANYONE!
Welp! The end. I asked her to please take a pic! These babies caused me a lot of pain, discomfort and agony!