My life forever changed on June 30, 1995. It was the day my father passed away from his fight with cancer. He was such a great man to me. A strong man, although super slim in build and very handsome, an old school T.I. if you will. I was and will always be a daddys girl. He taught me so much directly and indirectly about life and love. His charismatic, positive personality was something I always loved. His love towards his family, always putting us first is something I will never forget. Over the years I’ve thought of some many things I wish I could say to my dad or wondered how he would feel about certain things that are happening in our world today or even in my families life. Before I tell you a random fun and emotional list of things I wish I could say to my father, make sure you cherish the people you love. I can’t stress enough how tomorrow isn’t promised.
Just to be close to you.
My daddy had a great since of humor. Showing nearly all of his teeth he would crack up while watching Sanford and Son, anything with Richard Pryor, and the string of Police Academy movies that would air on television or on his VHS tapes to name a few. I would tell him that, I would watch all of his silly shows with him just to be in the same room. I didn’t care what was on TV I just wanted to be in his presence.
At one point my dad was getting off work at 11pm and he’d probably get home around 12. Well when it was my turn to do the dishes I would leave a note for my dad on the stairs asking him to please wash the dishes for me before he went to bed so I wouldn’t be in trouble with my mom. I can’t believe I was that selfish to ask him to do my chores. He’d worked all night, how dare I? But he always washed those dishes for me and never complained.
She see’s him in me.
My mom tells me that my daddy left me here to mess with her. She says I have some of the same personality traits as him and depending on the day- that can be a good thing or not! LOL. Little does she know, but it does my heart all the good in the world to know that I am like him. I know I favor him, but to have some of his traits warms my heart.
Being a daddy’s girl had some definite perks. I could always ask him for money, he would always take the time to listen to my silly school girl stories, but most of all he showed me how I should be treated and loved. I remember him always buying a huge box of Valentine’s Day candy for my mother and a smaller box for me. He constantly told me I was pretty, to never go to someone else house or property to start a fight, never chase boys and to not get in a car if someone tried to kidnap me! He was very protective and always wanted what was best for me. He showered me with unconditional love, which never left a void for me to fill with a man who wouldn’t cherish me the same. Instead, I waited on a man who would love me, protect me, listen to me and accompany me to the cemetery to leave flowers on his grave.
I wish I could ask him what he thought about President Obama or if he thought Kevin Hart was as funny as his legendary favorites. How he feels about the police brutality. If he every experienced racism first hand. I would love to know his deepest sentiments on one Donald Trump. If he thinks the US should stay out of other countries problems and mind our business? What would he think of me constantly updating the world on my life on Facebook, Twitter and IG?
I would ask him if he was proud of how my mom has made the best of life since his passing. I would tell him that she is the reason I was able to handle his passing as well as I did, which wasn’t great- but it could have been worse. She has taught me to love on people now, or as they say give them their flowers now. I probably could care less as a child, but I live for when she tells me a story about their dating life or marriage.
Little Richard stole his song.
My daddy swore up and down that he wrote a very popular Little Richard song back in the day! Every time we would hear it, I would began to laugh, because I already knew he was about to go into a story of “see what happened…”
I would tell him that I was sorry for not keeping in contact with his family the way I should. That’s just it. I don’t do a well enough job of keeping in contact.
I would tell him I miss him.
You never know that you will miss someone so much. And forever. I think we were close and we understood each other. He knew when I was trying to play him against my mother and he knew when I was sneaking on the phone while I was on punishment. But he got me, and as long as I didn’t disrespect him, he loved on my little chubby self. He would read me a bedtime story if I asked and I was a junior in high school. Just wanted to be around him, enjoy him, soak him up!
I love him.
The impact my father had on my life is irreplaceable. He was a great man and I wish I’d had more time with him, especially now that I am older. His wisdom and knowledge would be so greatly appreciated at this point in my life, now that I have a better understanding of this world we live in. But I am glad I had him for as long as I did. I will always be a Turner at heart. I wish I’d taken more pics with my dad bc you will never get those moments back. I will continue to strive to make him proud.